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lou

Jan 28, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Erotica

I trace your jaw line with my tongue.
Tasting salty flesh.
I surround your Adams Apple with my lips.

I kiss my way down your chest
With gentle suction.
Then nibbles causing, sensuous reverberation

Phallic surrender, as you pay attention
and I travel lower.
Caressing with my hand.

The target is found and zero in,
I go in for the kill
and you surrender.

Moist lips lock
erotic after shock.
We lose control.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: WARNING !!!! Sexual content

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West London, GBR

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda , Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, D.H Lawrence, Jim Morrison's lyrics,

More from this author

Comments

14 years 5 months ago

OOH Shirl

Do you think it's too much ? Damn that parkinsons medication lol

lou

Z

14 years 5 months ago

hi louise

hey there lord what can a shy Irish man say
about this lol, the wording in very good ,
the title sits perfectly ,,,,zigs

R

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Lou...

the use of subtle words in this write work like magic...no wonder Shirl said she felt the tingles..this write does create vivid images of the coital act without being obscene...thats the beauty of this poem...

S

14 years 5 months ago

erotica

For those who don't know the difference between erotic and pornographic, this is a wonderful example of the former. Now to go take a cold shower lol..............scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

sensuous

non porno

but shall do

and
explicit in view

K

14 years 5 months ago

I don't know if it was the

I don't know if it was the coital act Lou was er...expressing. however, I sure think the last line "you're under my control" doesn't belong after "erotic after shock". At this point I'd say he's lost control and in that way, so have you. ;-)

~A

p.s. Nice progression/evolution in this poem from the one you originally wrote...which is more cerebral less evoking the senses.

14 years 5 months ago

Xena

Glad u liked it, i needed express myself a little lol Ill sort the I out

love lou

14 years 5 months ago

THANKS ALL

Thank you for reading, glad you all liked it, hope it wasn't too rude lol

love lou