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Nov 05, 2016
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FURY redone
FURY
a raging fire caught
by a hungering wind
in all of hell's madness
steals the air.
I can’t breathe
I gasp for hope.
two dark clouds roll in
from heaven’s sky.
I smell the rain
i will endure
the pain
of living
again
…
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
alidzain
8 years 8 months ago
joe
this is a powerful poem.
Alid
jane210660
8 years 8 months ago
I see a note of hope and
I see a note of hope and light here Joe.
A powerful poem. Jx
jane210660
8 years 7 months ago
I like the edit - you have
I like the edit - you have added a new nuance. Jx
Esker
8 years 7 months ago
great revision!
"I cannot breathe
left gasping for hope"
my only changes I put in
and as U can tell Im old school
and yes I enjoyed rhyme poems
as a young adult and now
old man!
although I just meander on
Free form!
U can feel the sparks in this
one....the lash of the tempest
of that storm..
Much Live
Much Life
in this Joe!
Mr Esker!
alidzain
8 years 7 months ago
wow
You're a one helluva poet, my friend. Seriously. This is perfect.
Alid