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Nov 17, 2016
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Leaves
Leaves fall
Unendurable pleasure
Indefinitely prolonged
Every moment is precious
Eros
heroin
Sex
A cup of tea
That"s a satori
Guy
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Guy Jenkins
8 years 8 months ago
A girl
A girl
Keith Logan
8 years 8 months ago
I'm lost
The first three lines are one of those Japanese forms I find so forgettable but the rest?
If it were mine I'd reverse the order putting the nature reference where it belongs, in the last line.
Indefinitely prolonged
Unendurable pleasure
Leaves fall.
Guy Jenkins
8 years 7 months ago
In the ttube
some memories of girls will keep me young at heart forever
Regards, Guy