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Nov 24, 2016
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Fair Maid
Eyes deep and radiant
within the fairest face;
a figure lithe and lean.
Each curve and gradient
exudes melodic grace,
through sweater and old jeans.
Though temperatures rise
and pulse beats start to pound,
in bust of perfect size
a loving heart is bound.
More fair than meets the eye;
look deep, for looks belie.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Keith Logan
8 years 7 months ago
Nobody is perfect
She may be the best person one is liable to meet but everyone has their flaws.
chevyvent
8 years 7 months ago
Excellent writing
Very nice flow with piece excellent writing I'm now a fan of yours.
Your friend,
Mario Vitale
Keith Logan
8 years 7 months ago
I'm not at all comfortable
with the notion of fans. There are many poets here I admire and read avidly but I stop short of following, being content to read as they make new posts.
K William
8 years 4 months ago
Well, I can't read anymore.
Well, I can't read anymore. Thank you. I don't .know what goes wrong with the first stanza, it seems way out to me. Clunky is the word I would use. Perhaps a rewrite, I think ... 'In sweater and old jeans', maybe.
Keith Logan
8 years 4 months ago
As I said
on another poem's comments, sorry if my writing style upsets you in any way.