Far and Near:

All routes we traverse
Places and phases diverse
Speck of Universe

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Asia India

Favorite Poets: Rabindranath Tagore, Shakespeare among many more

Comments

swamp-witch

8 years 4 months ago

OriginalRhyku,

I really love haiku. They are such a challenge!

I like the moment, the smallness and simultaneous vastness of everything, that you've captured with this one.

If I could make a tiny suggest for such tiny poems as these, it might be a single syllable: "Speck of Universe" instead of "in". I think it would give us a since of belonging to the universe, not just being in it. What do you think? It's amazing how one little word in such a brief form of poetry can chance the meaning. That's what I love about the form. You have to be so careful and precise with every syllable to do well.

Kelsey

OriginalRhyku

8 years 1 month ago

Kelsey

I agree with your suggestion and have corrected the Rhyku

We are increasingly living in times where we are full of ourselves but we are invisible to others full of themselves. A selfie for the selfish so as to speak.