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B

I've Kept The Snow

So bare and clean
Like untouched canvas
Snow has been
When it first fell

And I've been guard
On my small patch
Although t'was hard
Throughout my spell

For I'd presumed
That others ,too
Had not resumed
Their daily trade

Should just maintain
The fallen snow
Should all remain
The way t'was made

Yet say the clock
Has made it's rounds
And say a rock
S'now dust at sea

And all around
Have greyed their snow
And white's just found
By only me...

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: Pennsylvania

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Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

8 years 8 months ago

Nice

a few too many gratuitous poetics like "S'now"