The Burning Pen

Desire,
it burns in my soul.
The dream to be
a spinner of words
to carve what I feel
with the tip
of a dancing pen;
the expression
of what it is
to be a human.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

Geezer

8 years 4 months ago

This is...

some great work, Alidzain. If you want serious critique, I will give you some. Just two little things caught my eye.

1] Use an [a] instead of [the] in the line - spinner of words...
2] leave off the [s] in the word tip, it should be singular.

Your title is apt, but a little bland. All the rest of this is as good as any and better than most that I have seen from you. ~ Gee.
.

alidzain

8 years 4 months ago

Hi Gee

I was trying to describe a poet's passion the best and this one came out. Glad you liked it.Thank you for the visit, the read and the critique. Done the edits.

Alid

weirdelf

8 years 4 months ago

Agree with Gee,

this is a poet's poem and expresses my own feelings it's like I wrote it myself.
Some alternate titles?
"The Burning Pen"
"The Rampant Spider's Dream"
"Poets Dancing on the Head of a Pin"
"Ratbags Write Good"
"(Trying To Be) Human"