Memory's hell

It is the unknown that I fear,
when real misery hits so near,
the fear to walk a corridor,
then coming back will be no more.

When memory's cells have to smear,
it is the unknown that I fear.
I fear the feel; the utmost pain
of getting brain's cells off to drain.

Anonymous spots now surround,
the waves of deafness echo the sound.
It is the unknown that I fear,
when everything 'round starts to queer.

Oh damn to this Alzheimer's curse,
I think nothing is ever worse;
for merely blurs would start to sneer
then that's the unknown that I fear.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

alidzain

8 years 3 months ago

Salam, Rula

I think it is a fitting title. Now about the poem. I just can't remember what t is even though I know I've came across it before. Can you tell me what it is. The brain has become a little rusty.

Alid

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Salam Khalid

The form is called the quatern
Here is more about it:
http://shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/quatern.html

scribbler

8 years 3 months ago

hi

Hopefully not an autobiographic poem. S-3 , L-4 you might consider"when everything begins to queer"... might be a bit less forced........stan

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you for

reading and the suggestion Stan. I thought it's spot on.
Unfortunately alzehaimers hits a v. close relative and we find ourselves hopeless yet not helpless_ hopefully.
Appreciate your kind visit.

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you

dear for your comment and the suggestion. Hope you like better the newer title.
Highly appreciate your kind visit.

Eumolpus

8 years 3 months ago

moving poem

A moving poem about a very common nightmare so many of us had to watch. In the first years of this disease the fear is very real and heart felt. Everyone around does not acknowledge it, it is a very personal fear which I have too often heard about and pray to not one day say.

I would like to see a different title, one more related to the exact theme of the poem. Otherwise I think it works as a poem in terms of the craft.

Rula

8 years 3 months ago

Hello Eumolpus

Well some would think that I have rushed an unrelated title, but the fact is that it -'Fears& Tears' well depicts those who surround the relative daily. I have however chose the new title comes to be more about the disease itself. Hope it works better.
Be safe all andtake care.
Thank you so much.