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(L) Idee Fixee
I've eaten Gnostic berries,
tongued the Etruscan worms
fallen from ancient mummy mouths.
I've bit magic flowers,
and smoked the codices
from Fu Manchu’s hookah.
I’ve swallowed anemic moons,
their breviaries airtight
and sung the heart
of sappy treehouse initials.
Skip the artificial paradises,
skip the ideal.
I have frozen
as an oasis
in stained glass
rapture and found
a truth in them single.
Skip the artificial paradises, skip the ideal.
Skip whatever is not ephemera
lest you wake in a crooked bend.
A crooked bend
of solitude,
with one displaced
light streak,
one page dreaming your typeset,
evanescent and blinking
Running with blue ink
on the floor next to you.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
8 years 2 months ago
An intriquing, disturbing and quite beautiful piece.
It is open to many interpretations, as it should be; when we submit our work we relinquish ownership, it belongs to the reader.
The one line that jars and befuddles me is the line
"a tooth in them single."
The tooth, a single tooth, does not seem to contribute to the overall tone. The title too is hard to fathom. The French 'L'idée fixe' is fair enough. '(L) Idee Fixee' feels gratuitous. Feel free to illuminate me... or not.
A singularly effective work.
I hope you don't mind me doing a reading on SoundCloud. If you like it I can link it to Facebook. Would you prefer your real name to Fink555?
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/l-idee-fixee
fink555
8 years 2 months ago
Tooth was intended as "truth"
Tooth was intended as "truth".
Yes, Jess: My name is John Thomas Allen.
So kind of you to put it on Soundcloud.
By being clunky and putting L (Ideal) like that I am mocking it. Making it a sort of semiotic thing.
By God friend, it is good to see you again!
Pax!
weirdelf
8 years 1 month ago
Another night ripped out of my life!
How did I miss this? Had no idea it was you, John, bloody brilliant to see you.
How've you been?
Eumolpus
8 years 2 months ago
need a few clues..
Like most abstract art, we are not asked to understand the subject, just receive the painting as expression of an inner reality of color and composition. I do not "understand" this poem but I really appreciate the charged imagery and words. I have learned that if I don't "understand" a poem that I have enjoyed reading that it's ok, it's not my fault or lack of sophistication, the poet just either failed to give me enough clues to sense its inner logic, or keeping it enigmatic may be all the poet intended. That happens a lot when I'm reading Stevens, for example. On the other hand, I don't believe poetry has to be a crossword puzzle, like trying to read Pound, in which you need to refer to an encyclopedia for every line...You are obviously a poet with a mature muse. I just wish I had some other clues so I could better comprehend the poem, even if it's in a poetical rhetorical way.
One criticism: I think it's VERY important to read and re-read your work before publishing and be sure there are no mistakes like truth/tooth, which set me in a totally wrong direction for a while.
Every word counts!
fink555
8 years 2 months ago
I understand
what you're saying. I would personally be open to a poem that was a crossword puzzle because it sounds experimental, but you wouldn't be, you like what you like, I like what I like. I don't feel a responsibility to explain everything to a reader, though. If one loves poetry, one should read even stuff one doesn't like, I think.
Here I am talking about Plato's ideal of the poet as seer.
weirdelf
8 years 1 month ago
but not poetry
in terms of Plato's theory of absolute forms.
[grins]
jane210660
8 years 2 months ago
Sigh
This makes me a little sad about the depth of my own poetry and influences.
It's a long road.
Jx
Eumolpus
8 years 2 months ago
Plato and Poetry
I've been reading a lot of Plato recently, especially interesting in these times of our wounded republic. Love the whole cave thing, and the reincarnation too. But Plato was very hard on the Poet and Poetry as a seer, which is the subject of many a PhD thesis. I can't see the connection.
I said, which you seemed to have missed, is that I liked your poem despite the fact that i did not understand it. I think I would have liked it more if it was more approachable.
I am a poet who has the reader in mind when I write..I'm writing both for myself and the "other". I do not believe everything needs to be explained, but I do believe in an inner logic that allows the reader to attain a universal, to "feel" the meaning. Those works resonate more with me.
fink555
8 years 2 months ago
Thanks
Jess!
fink555
8 years 1 month ago
I have been okay
Jess. (Blessed.) How are you?
weirdelf
8 years 1 month ago
bloody brill, mate
I do Neopoet, help young artists with language and teach ESL.
A bit more relaxed than of old, and exercising the mantra 'kindness' but still revert to form when provoked.
I would never have guessed St Thomas to go under the nickname fink.
fink555
8 years 1 month ago
What I meant
Plato believed, and here Rimbaud would be more important, that each poet should be "out of his senses" or "deranged" in order to attain his or her height. That is what I was making reference to. Since Plato wrote it, I take it seriously as an arcane sort of ideal.
Of course Fink--humility is one of the virtues.
weirdelf
8 years 1 month ago
My comment was tongue-in-cheek
I know what you meant.