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S
Scatterhatter
Jun 24, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Memories afloat

Moss grows in damp dark
Split tree leaves
Reveal a long lost scent
Of what I've learnt was Sassafras

Glorious
The water flows
Floating memories away
Bubbling down the brook
Cascades

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Sassafras is a sweet smelling spring flowering tree from Southern Australia.... Very clunky words I know...

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Tasmania, Australia

Favorite Poets: Teresa Hooley, Vita Sackville West, Louisa Anne Meredith

More from this author

Comments

wesley snow

wesley snow

8 years ago

Not "clunky" at all.

All this poem needs is a little punctuation to clarify a separation in thoughts.
My PM mentioned Stan's workshop on Imagery in Poetry. I hope you will consider it. Your poem is full of the sort of imagery the shop will be talking about.

No word is "clunky" if it enhances the poem. Your description of Sassafras is the poem.

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

8 years ago

hello...

and welcome to Neopoet!

I much enjoyed your poem, such lovely imagery!! I hope to read more of your work soon.

always, Cat

S

Scatterhatter

8 years ago

Thanks Cat!

Thanks Cat!
Its such a great site. I've never done anything like this before. People here on neopoet are grand!