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S
scribbler
Jun 25, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

IMAGERY IN POETRY( ready to start?)

(Read More...)

A Stone (imagery workshop)

Beneath the covering of moss the stone retired.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

jane210660

jane210660

8 years ago

Yes

Can't you hear my old grey cells?
Grin.
Jx

weirdelf

weirdelf

8 years ago

Nice one,

if a tad anthropomorphic. It loses something by evoking the idea of the stone actively retiring. Perhaps
Beneath the covering of moss the stone [was or had] retired.
Get my drift?

S

scribbler

8 years ago

yes

I get your drift but now I have to decide whether or not changing this will help or not. It's possible for a suggestion to be a good one but not fit in with what a poet is trying to accomplish. Anthropomorphizing might be a good thing in leading a reader to identify with a thing..........stan

weirdelf

weirdelf

8 years ago

no biggie

I've agreed with Rett and Lonnie too in the past,
It no doubt won't last.

S

scribbler

8 years ago

LOL

Would be a bit disappointed if it did

S

scribbler

8 years ago

Hi Mark

An ending? Hmmm....I wrote it thinking it might be a good beginning but see how easily it could be either.......stan

vandiemenspeak

vandiemenspeak

8 years ago

And I'm not sure if anyone said it..

A rolling stone, gathers no moss...suggesting this stone is only engaged in an illusory retirement, maybe? I like under the cover of moss. Sense the tone is itching for the stone to be thrown back in the stream!

Nice start..
Cheers,

Chris.

S

scribbler

8 years ago

poor old Mick

I understand he's about to start his "walker" tour lol. I am saying this out of envy that he's getting around better than I lol

S

scribbler

8 years ago

I had hoped

That the idea of a stone once in motion had been captured and thus retired by the blanket of moss. This shows how even fairly explicit imagery can be interpreted in many ways by many people............stan

jane210660

jane210660

8 years ago

And I'm not

even going to mention the sweet little ditty about getting rocks off.
I is a lady after all.
Jx

S

scribbler

8 years ago

Getting

rocks off???? whatever do you mean the scribbler asks with innocent eyes