scribbler

Nov 03, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

THE SEARCH

Every day in crowded towns
I see people rushed and worried
with downcast eyes and wrinkled frowns.
Perhaps their lives are far too hurried.

Watch their glance dash here and there
among the noise of modern living,
"hello"s rewarded with blank stare.
It's like we all are unforgiving.

And all day harsh sounds assail us:
television, traffic, radio,
people yelling as they fuss.
Noise and tensions grow and grow.

While we keep searching for...something.
a thing that might comfort or calm us.
What is it we keep seeking?
Maybe it's just simple quietness.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

7 years 8 months ago

Veerrrry clever...

calling this a free-form, so that I won't notice that your scansion is off! Really; I like the theme. I was just saying to someone the other day, that people seem so out of sorts lately. Must be all the noise that we are subjected to. That and the fact that everyone seems to be in their own little world and if you intrude they get their back up! The way that you describe the people, makes me think that we are looking at the same ones!
~ Gee.
.

scribbler

7 years 8 months ago

LOL

I sometimes mis label the form just to see if anybody is paying attention lol. And it Might be the incessant noise which puts folks on edge I think......stan

IRiz

7 years 7 months ago

Dear Scribbler,

Dear Scribbler,
Thank you for your poem.
Its rhythmic flow transfers me somewhere
to busy streets with cafes opening early.
Rustle of fresh newspapers,
smells from flower shops and bakeries.
Its content calls for quietness.
And I am reading your lines completely with you and in the same time inspired to start wandering in my world of images and words.
You poem is MagicKal with a big K at the end.

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hi Iriz

It's always good to see a new comer appear on my page. I appreciate your time to visit and comment.....stan

IRiz

7 years 7 months ago

Thank you for your kind

Thank you for your kind welcome.
I am hovering over your lines like a helicopter.
Hope you don't mind.

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Of course not

I am pleased you deem them worth hovering over

lovedly

7 years 7 months ago

hiGh LoL scibbler

have you been nominated
for NOBEL
as yet or ever .

You are our NEOPOET'S FROST
a lovely feather
I am jUst a waffler at all costs
moderna poemy me

some say just machine gunning silly
NOBEL
so you have much more chance
than here does any

I will vote for thee
if you continue to read
my (awe-ful) moderna poetry

ere and there
thee and ye
archaic poety

but ababac etc
AD... ancient poetry
still takes the lead

NAH
it's not aRchaic yet
many have wrong timings
IMAGES
about me

Loved thence now Lovedly
some would say
LOVEWEDLY

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

LOL

So now you are bribing me with Nobel vote to read your poems??? You should know bribes aren't needed just spare time. Thanks for dropping by........stan

lovedly

7 years 7 months ago

BrAbe

I can't hardly subscribe or even spell
BRABE
or B r I b E

Eumolpus

7 years 7 months ago

I like your poem

especially the ending, opening up the poem to endless possibilities.

A favorite famous line by Thoreau- "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation". How much truth in one sentence.

lovedly

7 years 7 months ago

LOVELY WORDS EMOL

"The mass of men
lead lives of quiet desperation".

FEW LIVE IN ''CLOUDS'' PROSPERITY
MASSES BELOW LINE OF POVERTY
DIFFERENT LEVELS FOR EACH COUNTY .
THE EAST IS POOREST
ALL KNOW IT
AND
THE WEST ELITE TOO HAS DIFFERENT POTENTIALS

SOME GO TO PLAY GOLF IN AEROPLANES
THE REST AWAIT THEIR RETURN....

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hello Emo

Sometimes the poems written in haste manage to come out OK don't they ? lol. Thanks for the visit

IRiz

7 years 7 months ago

Questions

After I have read your poem a few times, I have questions.
First stanza

Every day in crowded towns
I see people rushed and worried
with downcast eyes and worried frowns.
Perhaps their lives are far too hurried.

Perfect rhythmic flow is ultered by an extra word
worried. Why don't you omit it?
Frown is already worried expression to me.

Second stanza, how about a little change in the last line?
I am afraid to use like too much, maybe I am wrong. Tell me if changing it to "as if" makes the same sense.

Watch their eyes dash here and there
among the noise of modern living,
"hello"s rewarded with blank stare
as if we all are unforgiving.

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hi riz

I had not noticed the close repeat of "worried" and will see what I can do about that pretty soon. I'll also, like, give the use of "like" a bit of like study too lol