scribbler

Mar 04, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

COLD RAIN MUSINGS

Late winter rain taps on the tin
of the roof of my small home
asking, perhaps, to be let in.
It's tapping echoes in my dome.

The echoes shake loose memories
from cob webs undisturbed for years
which drift like milk weed on a breeze
and unseize memory's stiff gears.

Young days when hills were not so steep,
jack frost crunching beneath boots
during the cold of winter's deep
while far away a barred owl hoots.

And those times I went afield
with all the older folks now gone;
how the forests way back then appealed
even through an early morning yawn.

And farther back when a mere child
playing on a pure white gulf coast beach
when "cold" was actually quite mild.
Sand spurs were thick beyond tide's reach.

But all those days are far away
as age tightens its firm grip on me.
Still in this time grown chill and gray
I at least can call on memory.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

raj

7 years 4 months ago

Stan

I am pretty sure this gem was inspired by the late winter havoc in spite of which you stayed cool enough to come up with this poem which walked e through the years from your childhood on to the present.

Just a thought..would this tiny change be better:-

and start up memory's stiff gears
and shift memory's stiff gears

Stay warm friend...
.....................

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

Hi Raj

Thanks for the idea. I'll keep it in mind when I edit this. And yes I'm a see and say kind of poet and we had a long cold rainy spell recently.............stan

raj

7 years 4 months ago

i liked "see and say kind of

i liked "see and say kind of poet"...i must say that you have said so nicely what you have seen...you are humble to say you are a "see and say type of poet" which i would call "spontaneous" ...
....

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

OK raj

I gave a lot of thought to your suggestion but it just didn't seem to deliver the sense of the gears having been frozen. But I DO appreciate your input

raj

7 years 4 months ago

No issues Stan

Fact of life is suggestions may not always work. Appreciate your trying though..

Regards..

trekker

7 years 4 months ago

Cold Rain Musings

I love your rhymes! Well done setting the mood of time passing us by. I enjoyed the read! trekker

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

Hi trekker

Always nice to have somebody new come by. I appreciate the visit and kind comment........stan

chevyvent

7 years 4 months ago

Beautiful sentiment

really gifted piece it comes from your heart really nicely done

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

Hi Chevy

Thank you for coming by with such kind comment......stan

Rula

7 years 4 months ago

An enjoyable read

as always Stan. I know I've missed alot of yours and my other friends when I was away last year.
Not really a suggestion, but I felt that the word 'even' has been used repeatedly at the end of stanza 4 and beginning of 5th stanza.
Other than that as I said an enjoyable read.
Thanks for sharing!

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

Hi Rula

Good to see you back. I'll see what I can do and maybe "even" improve about using even too much

scribbler

7 years 4 months ago

Hi Rula

As many times as I've talked about over using a word too closely you'd think I'd remove the beam from my own eye lol. I think this revision might have solved that problem.....stan

scribbler

6 years 11 months ago

Greetings

And welcome to Neopoet. I appreciate your coming by and leaving such kind comment.......stan

lovedly

6 years 11 months ago

and what will happen

when you have reached perfection
in 550 poems
and then in July rains still comes
On your Feb birthday
did it rain
hence this rainy poem
lol

scribbler

6 years 11 months ago

ME reach perfection?

Now that would be the day lol. And my birthday is in March so you have to blame something else for this scribble

lovedly

6 years 11 months ago

Well stan

me knows ur b'day was on 4 Mar
hence this upgraded poem
for perfectioning it
Ain't it