mand

Feb 16, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Innocence

Puppy on the lead
I hold her so close to me,
never break our ties

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

Comments

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Hi Shirl

That's what I was thinking when I took her for a walk. It seems such a simple statement but the thought of letting her off the lead conjures up an accident - anywhere from a dead puppy to a serious accident killing people. It made me shiver thinking about it!

Thanks Shirl, nice of you to read and comment.

Love Mand xxxxx

loved

14 years 5 months ago

No ,no Shirley

in CANADA THE DRIVER WILL KILL HIMSELF
to save the priceless dog
and save himself
of paying compensation
irrespective of the owners lead

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dearest Mand

A cute Haiku...

i tried my hand at it and posted a Haiku just now

much love..

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Hi Raj

Thanks for your comment, I'll look yours up now.

Love Mand xxxxxx

loved

14 years 5 months ago

Haiku

5 77777.........................5555555555555

nice humourous
i see ladiesSSSSSSSSSSSSS
walking my road
haikuinggggggggggggggggggg
singingggggggggggggggg

mand

14 years 5 months ago

hI loved

(((((hug))))) winging it's way to you.

Thanks my lovely. I walked our road, this morning, with our lovey puppy. Someone must have seen me - I didn't see them though.

Love Mand xxxxxx

loved

14 years 5 months ago

hello hugs again once more

in CANADA THE DRIVER WILL KILL HIMSELF
to save the priceless dog
and save himself
of paying compensation
irrespective of the owners lead

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Hi Loved

In Wales the driver will run the dog over and claim compensation from the owner! Lol

Only joking - running a dog over has to be reported in England. I've heard a dog when it's run over - the scream is harrowing!

Dog's obviously feel pain.

Thanks Loved

Love Mand xxxxx

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

Simplistic...

Yet potent! There is much potential here. That is what Haiku is all about. Nice work! ~ Gee

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Hi Geezer

Thanks for reading and commenting. I'll be thinking about it today - see if I can make some improvements.

Thanks for the encouragement

Love Mand ccccc

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

hello

you know, there are actually people who think having a dog on a leash is cruel? some people are idjuts lol........stan

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Helloooo there

Sooo good to see you! I have a feeling you have meet some of these idjuts whilst out on your rambles. Lol

I think you've got the gist of this one Stan my man.

Thanks for coming by!

Love Mand xxxxxxx

lou

14 years 5 months ago

Mand

I found this to be more of a statement , than a poem. Not sure why, may be it is the subject matter.

love lou

mand

14 years 5 months ago

Quite right Lou

It needs a serious amount of working on! ( did my usual thing and posted it to early ). The subject has potential so it's worth working on. Thanks for your honesty Lou.

And sooo good to see you!

Love Mand xxxxxx