pitter patter

rain falls so swiftly
landing wherever it may
a new dawn for all

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: British Columbia, Canada

Favorite Poets: William Butler Yeats, Robert Frost , Edward Fitzgerald , Rumi

Comments

bjucks

7 years 3 months ago

first attempt at a haiku

scribbler

7 years 3 months ago

Hi

Good Haiku for a first attempt......stan

weirdelf

7 years 2 months ago

A good first attempt

I can't help thinking the last line could be stronger.

Just some ideas, and they're not very good, but see where it could give more? Every word counts in haiku

the land takes it all
the lands gratitude
people feel its life
a dawn for lifes gifts

bjucks

7 years 2 months ago

Thank you weirdelf

Thank you weirdelf
I appreciate all the comments you left! The one on irish times was quite funny too haha. I will be checking out the unfinished works workshop! Ive got lots of unfinished ones and now have the time to get back into them. Thanks for the recommendations

Moved houses yesterday so my energy has not been in poetry. Ah, soon to change!