Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 05, 2018
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Rare Beauty
You're feast for the eyes of boys men,
Your charming lights have exceeded the rubicon.
The racing eyes have forgotten their pedestrian crossing.
Now your beauty standard receives a thunderous daily ovation.
Your worth is a great what!
Your pigment have gone viral.
You're greater than the pretty -ugliest who 're the queens.
You just like queen of the coast!
Your quality can't be found in a bazza of the poor market.
I would advise, never pass T.Y. DANJUMA STREET again
Or else if you do, many eyeballs would burn.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Eumolpus
7 years 2 months ago
hi there
sounds like the ivory coast version of Girl from Ipanema by Jobim..(hope you know it, if not, check it out from a hundred versions on youtube.
It is a nice poem, I think it's fine, all us girl watchers get it, but not sure today's senstive feminine politics will approve... women are not supposed to be looked at, but considered as fellow intellectuals as we.. (ha ha) but that is tough when such great beauty passes in the marketplace!
I would consider the shape of the poem. sometimes a poem needs a frame to hold it in. The long last line in the first stanza for me seems out of place.
..
Jackweb
7 years 2 months ago
Appreciation!
I'm well glad to receive your intelligent critique note on the content of this poem. Discovering weak lines bangs me intellectually to construct well when next i write.
Big thanks to: Mr Eumolpus