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gregwa8
gregwa8
May 18, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Rainy Day Dreaming

It's like the universe's mailman
in uniform
the sound of rain
on the window panes
in the morning

to go from Dreamland's
volcanoes and tornadoes
angels and devils and
friends with unrecognizable
faces and plot twists
more fascinating
than a Tarantino movie
or an Agatha Christie novel

to the methodical tapping
and the warm blankets
the comfortable grey
and hopefully a day free

to drink some tea
and open a book
and dream more crazy
fantastic dreams

but this time
awakened
by lamplight
in the safe haven
of your bedroom

with just the sound
of nature's metronome
keeping time
on the roof

and the whisper
of pages turning

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Maryland, USA

More from this author

Comments

Rula

Rula

7 years 2 months ago

Awesome

especially liked the closing lines.
"the whisper of pages turning

A typo .... window pane?
Thank you for sharing such an enjoyable time

gregwa8

gregwa8

7 years 2 months ago

thank you, rula! fixed the

thank you, rula! fixed the typo. yeah, the whisper is a good contrast to the tornado in the beginning, I think. reading gives us peace in a way that rain on the roof does, while it leads us into a world as magnificent as dreams. i originally had a parenthetical addition to the title (A Better Way To Dream), but i'm not sure if that's true. they each serve their purpose, i guess. thanks for your encouraging words! :)

R

raj

7 years 2 months ago

Hi Greg

your poem does create the sounds and mood of a welcome rain....i too found the end lines pretty poetic...

where I am right now it is pretty sticky and stuffy so at least the words did bring a relief and dream of pre monsoon showers and that divine smell the first rains bring awakening the hot soil..
...........................................................................................

gregwa8

gregwa8

7 years 2 months ago

thanks for your comments and

thanks for your comments on this and other poems, raj. that the rhythm itself sounds like rain. so cool! :) where are you from, that it is pre monsoon season?

S

scribbler

7 years 2 months ago

Rain

The tapping of rain, especially on a tin roof, evokes a Lot in almost everybody. In this poem it brings to mind a peaceful awakening. Well done.......stan