Geezer

Jun 02, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Trust Me... I Love You...

"Despair", My faithful companion
I can always count on you
When no one else cares
You are always there

I think I would miss you
If you ever moved on
Where would I turn?
How would I manage?

Would my days be filled with "Hope"?
Might I find "Security" in your absence?
I think they are mighty poor friends
To abandon me so easily

I do not trust them...

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Looking at "Despair" "Hope" and "Security" as entities. Now does it make sense?

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

raj

7 years 1 month ago

Hi Geezer

For someone like you who is so skilled in rhyme this one appears to have lost its way somewhere...i could also not connect how from a Loved one you have moved to friends? Being in draft stage you may still be working on these aspects...
..................................................

lovedly

7 years 1 month ago

pray

do specify
to whom this poem
is addressed

Geezer

7 years 1 month ago

I thought I had...

made the meaning clear, that "Despair" is who I am speaking to. I capitalized Despair, Hope and Security; thinking that they would be accepted as entities. Maybe I should put them in quotation marks. Please read again, with the quotations and see if it does not make sense then. I spoke to Despair as though it were something always with me and I would not know how to live in it's absence.
I then asked the question; "Would my days be filled with "Hope" and "Security"? And lastly said that I did not trust them, if they would abandon me so easily. See? This is one time of many that punctuation is useful. ~ Geezer.
.

lovedly

7 years ago

yes I thought as much

as despair and I are twins
no one reads or comments
so I know I am always there
as in
living
DESPAIR

Geezer

7 years 1 month ago

Thank you Mark...

I appreciate the thought that you have put into reading and commenting on my poem. As I have said to Serendipity, it seems as though "Despair" has been such a constant companion to my son, that he doesn't trust a life without it. Hope and Security have abandoned him so quickly and often, that he doesn't trust how they feel.~ Geezer.
.

Seren

7 years 1 month ago

Oh Bro, I dont know what to

Oh Bro, I dont know what to say

This poem hits close to home
as I'm sure you understand.

Bravo *applause*

Love and higgliest bugs Sis xxx

Geezer

7 years 1 month ago

I thought...

that you would get it; that I was speaking to "Despair" and "Hope" and "Security" as if they were entities. In the short, "Despair" being such a close companion to my son, I have looked upon it as being a constant. My son has said to me a number of times, that when he is having a good time and enjoying some "Hope" and "Security", that he feels weird, like something is going to go wrong at any minute, and he will find himself again, keeping company with "Despair", that the other two, [hope and security] have abandoned him yet again. It is a very difficult thing to live with. I do understand. Thanks for your read and comment. Love and higgest bugs, ~ Bro.
.

IRiz

7 years 1 month ago

Hm, your poem made me smile.

Hm, your poem made me smile.
I share your admiration to despair, out of it many tough things are done.
Another sister is anxiety, one must be anxious to want to learn new things, work hard or create.
Good poem, pleasure to read.