Geezer

Feb 20, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Ripples and Echos...

As the ripples fade into the distance
Small waves lap at memories' shores
Eroding the edges
Echoing back to me
The words I said
Seem distorted now
I shouted loud enough...
It's not my fault
You weren't paying attention

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York State - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Poe, Emily Dickenson, Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many of the poets here at Neopoet.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

It was...

supposed to be humorous, and letting somone know, that they aren't listening. Sometimes we only hear what we want to hear. Sometimes, we just don't understand what we are hearing. I'm sure that you have listened to a song many times, and even sung along with it, only to find out sometime later, that the words you have heard, aren't the words that are really there. Thanks for listening. LOL ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

raj

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Gee

Very reflective of the mood and echoes of the heart which can be perceived in this write...a very nice title to go with it too...

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks...

I tried to convey a reflective mood in this write. After all, echoes are mirrors of sound. The title was something that just came to me, after reading a comment by someone else here at the site. Thanks for the read and I'm glad you liked it. ~ Geezer

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

I think...

most of us do that, at least occasionally. We ride the little ripples, sailing blithely along, and then find out that we missed the big wave. Hey, where did everybody go? Thanks for the "brilliant". Although I might get a slap on the back of the head for it, I'll take it.
Love ya, ~ Gee

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

At first...

I didn't see what you were hinting at with the line of: memory's shore/memories' shores, but now I do. It was meant in the plural of memory and shore. The ripples I spoke of, didn't roll off out to sea. It was more a lake or pond. Being more self contained, I tried to leave the impression that the person wasn't interpeting what I was saying, but eroding what I said, until I was unsure of it myself. ~ Geezer

Pixee

14 years 5 months ago

Hello Geezer

It has been a while since we have talked. I do love your poem a lot. It is short and to the point. Not many write short poems and make them come out good. I truly enjoyed reading your poems. They are alway a great poems. I enjoy reading all the poems, but it is hard to respond to everyone. Keep on writing my friend. Read you later.

Written by: Pixee
Poetry is the living soul of the writer.

Your Friend,

Pixee

wolfycat

14 years 5 months ago

yes...

Listening and comprehension...art forms!

Great write:)

wolfy

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks...

for the read. The arts of listening and comprehension, are directly tied to an open mind, not an empty one. ~ Geezer

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

Surrealism...

is the objective, subconcious workings of the mind. Whatever you heard, is not what I said, and even if it was; I wouldn't admit it.
LOL . Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

Kailashana2

14 years 5 months ago

Never ever begin a poem with

Never ever begin a poem with *as*, or I'll have the poet police arrest you.

ripples fade into distance
make small waves at memories' shores

Eroding the edges
words I said
echo
distortion now

I shouted loud enough...
It's not my fault
You weren't paying attention

(love the last paragraph!!!!!!!!!!!) Bull's eye!!!!!!!!!!!

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

I'll file...

countercharges, for changing my poem into Haiku. LOL That last paragraph, was actually the idea that started the poem to begin with. ~ Gee

pleiades

14 years 5 months ago

i found 2 tones to this ..

i found 2 tones to this ...humorous, and not so humorous

as first, i wasn't too sure of the word 'fade' in
context with ripples dissipating ...the only other
word i could think of to suit, was 'diminish' ...
but 'fade' just sounds more poetic ...it has grown on me!

i like how you've said what you have here, in
a reletively short write
some subjects suit shorter writes ...they can carry
so much more impact
i think that's the case here

well thought out and executed

your last 2 lines kick arse!

cheers
p

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

Sometimes...

it's hard to judge when to stop. But there are instances when you just know. This seemed to be one of times. Thanks, ~ Gee

Race_9togo

14 years 5 months ago

Hey Gee

I liked this one a lot; funny, a little sad, and a great cadence.

Geezer

14 years 5 months ago

I wanted it to be a little

I wanted it to be a little funny, and think that it is sad, that there are so many people that never hear what you are really saying, because they've already heard it the way they wanted to. Thanks, ~ Gee