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Jun 20, 2018
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Fireflies Are The Stars
Fireflies are the stars
Of the troposphere
And although they appear
And disappear
They are fixed
In our hearts
Provide the same
Glimmer of hope
Something that we can
Wish upon
On summer nights
We use them to navigate
In our own way
Sail or fly
To destinations
Near and far
In our dreams
After the day is done
These flickering candles
These warm bugs
In our backyards
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
IRiz
7 years ago
Where is a troposphere?
Where is a troposphere?
I like Warm bugs, but not sure if you can call fireflies in one poem stars and candles.
I wish I could change their name from flies to fliers.
gregwa8
7 years ago
"fire fliers" would be right
"fire fliers" would be right on :). the troposphere is the lowest level of atmosphere. i thought of how stars are so far away, in a distant "atmosphere", but fireflies are in an "earthly sky", so to speak. they are the "close stars." though of course they're not stars at all. thanks for the read and comments.
greg
IRiz
7 years ago
Sweet thank you for
Sweet thank you for explaining.
lovedly
7 years ago
stars are in heavens far
fireflies in the black forest
and bugs inside your car
you gave her a lift
she returned a gift
nice poetry tis it
gregwa8
7 years ago
thank you! greg
thank you!
greg