crypticbard

Feb 21, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Fading Memories

Gnarly fingers
veil his face,
skin thin and crusty
at spots:
splotched parchment
of years in the sun

water
cascades
from his forehead to
his chin
then meets gravity;
raindrops

through his soil-grimed
singlet, jeans and boots;
hours of toil
simmer away
in rivulets
of forgetfulness.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: West Moreton, AUS

Favorite Poets: There is nothing quite as boring as a life completely devoid of shadows.

Comments

Janice Pearce

14 years 4 months ago

Fading memories

I wanted a little bit more of this, but it is what it is. Nicely written. Would leave out raindrops 12 line, but just my opinion :)

Frederick Kesner

14 years 4 months ago

Thanks Janice

Yes, I have had my eye on 'raindrops' and you may be right there. Let me look into that suggestion. Thanks.

Frederick Kesner

14 years 4 months ago

Quite so Ian

that was the general direction it was going. Maybe a reinvention of self. Maybe a complete transformation. Cheers, CB

Frederick Kesner

14 years 4 months ago

no revisions or edits. At least not that I know of.
In the old page format one could click on a tab that gave you access to the different revisions and edits on a post. This present one does not have it readily accessible.

loved

14 years 4 months ago

You vanish

and
when you surface
you are a new man, man
very poetic and creative
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
HAVE i KEPT YOU SOOOOOOOO BUSY
WELL GOOD FOR YOU

Frederick Kesner

14 years 4 months ago

Yes, very busy indeed

and looks like I will be busier still so apologies for the silence and seeming inactivity. :-)

loved

14 years 4 months ago

i wish u all the success

in that business
which u also need very much
how i wish
u enjoy every moment
as such

Frederick Kesner

14 years 4 months ago

Thanks J

This poem is posted up in about 3 other sites which have image posting features, and yes, it is of an old face with hands covering it! By your response it seems the photo was not all that essential after all to the poem. Thank you again.

Frederick Kesner

14 years 4 months ago

And, the funny thing is

we don't need to go deep into the bush to find people like this.
It amazes me that a large part of our local colour is in the people
that make this vast land livable and a place to call home!
I have travelled to many towns and cities all across Oz and
still marvel at the achievements and continuing battles to keep
a wild and in many parts still untamed continent. To me, this
person is just one among many that are heroes, unsung and needed.