Things You Can't Do In The Rain (or The Rainiest Summer Ever)

You can’t build a
Sand castle
In the rain

You can’t get
Your vitamin D
Unless it’s a Wilma or a Fred
Or a Bam Bam
(Or a tuna sandwich)

You probably shouldn’t
Swing a golf club
Or fix the satellite antenna
On your roof

Rain is for foosball
Or billiards
Or Madden

Made-for-tv movies
(And yes,
Sometimes rugby)

You can’t wear face paint
In the rain

Or get your hair done
(Without something silly,
Like a newspaper,
To cover your head,

As you run from the salon
To your car,
Your car to your front door,
And so on,
A challenging charade,
Especially in heels)

Sometimes you can see
A rainbow
But that usually
Comes afterwards

A lot of things come after rain

Cats wake up from their naps
Worms crawl back underground
(Eventually)
The farmers’ market
Starts to bustle again

The sun takes its
Rightful throne

Its 384.6 yottawatts of energy
Blocked out
By a couple of rain clouds

For an hour
Or a day
Or— this summer —
Weeks and weeks
On end