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Aug 04, 2018
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They Say That Champagne is a Celebratory Thing
They say that champagne
is a celebratory thing
with it's bubbles flowing
from bottom to top
like some ethereal dance,
or lesson about life's hard work.
Don't give me that;
it's just alcohol
fermented in a slightly different way.
The Russians prefer their vodka,
down south they drink Mezcal.
I'll just get what I can get
and call it a night.
I feel like I have no reason to be depressed
so my depression has turned
into cynicism.
If I think too much
I think too much.
What's the crime in that?
MY greatest crime
(the crime I'll commit against my own conscience)
is making plans for tomorrow without you,
because I have to think about me
for a turn.
So tomorrow is tomorrow;
I wish you could have been there.
But after this many times
I've learned not to rely
on wishes.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
gregwa8
6 years 11 months ago
very witty and honest.
very witty and honest. enjoyed reading this.
Geezer
6 years 11 months ago
This flows well...
and gets the message across. Just think that maybe you should say "I wish you could be there" Instead
of "I wish you could have been there". The syntax is a little bit better. Otherwise, great little conversation between you, yourself and the ex. ~ Geezer.
.