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Aug 17, 2018
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I-You-We-Us
when I becomes We,
there's a lot to gain for Us
the way I see You and You see Me
is crucial for Us
if You and I, can give n take a Wee bit
life is more harmonioUs
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
6 years 11 months ago
Wow
that was felicitous. It goes for everytime.
Simply exquisite dear raj!
Rula
6 years 11 months ago
I've just
noticed the ending "harmonioUS"
This is a really a rich theme and yours is very inspiring.
Thank you for sharing this dear raj
raj
6 years 11 months ago
Hi Rula
thanks for your reading and good words...you are right there is a U in harmonious which is why i capitalized it to make it prominent...
the underlying message i am trying to bring out is that if nations in long conflicts such as Israel and Palestine find credibility in these lines perhaps there is a greater chance of resolving the conflict...I don't necessarily mean conflict between nations but also day to day conflicts between people and even trifles between partners..
i don't know if this message is getting delivered....
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Rula
6 years 11 months ago
the message
is general. It's applicable in many situations, but the situation is a bit quagmire in the case you mentioned about Palestine and the Israeli occupation. Imagine a minority to invade India. Would the indians ever live with them in peace?
If not for America to support it, Israel would never be existing till now
raj
6 years 11 months ago
Appreciate your thoughts ..
Appreciate your thoughts ...it would be applicable to similar situations is what i meant...giving Israel-Palestinian as an example...it would be applicable for even Indo-Pak for that matter...anyways it's just a thought though there are many other ramifications which increase the complexity...
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Geezer
6 years 11 months ago
Bet you...
can boil it down to one simple sentence! "Do to others as you would have them do to you!" I loved the word-play and the pace went right along. Nice! ~ Geezer.
.
raj
6 years 11 months ago
Thanks Geezer
for reading and the one liner...this is similar to that but with some more elements built into it...
thanks again..
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lovedly
6 years 11 months ago
excellent
it is like
excellentUS
raj
6 years 11 months ago
Thanks Lovedly
for reading
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lovedly
6 years 10 months ago
yes sorry for my inability to critique
a poet like
raj_ocean
my mission is to maintain
World Peace