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The Silence
Every night
I die of depression and loneliness
and wonder what I’m hanging on to.
Little scraps
little moments
while you try
to figure yourself out.
I can’t,
I cannot keep doing this.
At the cafe
I had one beer
then two
and thought the walk would help.
I listened to music on the way
and there I
felt temporarily relieved.
I smelled pizza,
Which was tempting so late at night,
but alas I only had
six dollars to my name,
and the drinks are calling me.
I managed to only spend four,
and the beggar outside got the rest.
I didn’t even care if he was scamming me.
“Better days are ahead tomorrow, Kenneth.”
and he nodded in agreement.
Thankfully I grew up poor,
so I walked home and thought of you,
scooped up some flour,
bloomed what little yeast I had left
and made enough dough
to make a pizza tonight.
I will find my pleasure somewhere,
if not in your arms
then in my kitchen,
the kitchen we once shared and prepared
our meals in.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
gregwa8
6 years 10 months ago
I like how you went from the
I like how you went from the allure of pizza in the cafe, to making the pizza in your own home. A reoccurring theme that showed a sort of transformation in the poet's character. Becoming a consumer or passive party to an active party, seeking to make his own happiness.
Conect11
6 years 10 months ago
than you Greg
I never thought of it like that, but it IS a warming thought!
Sparrow
6 years 10 months ago
Loved this
Some truth or complete fiction, we must know sometimes, it puts a better value on the write, we should have a tick box for that on streaming writes.
I have received a few sorry about my life and the things that happen only to have to say that the write is fiction ??
I hope this is fiction or a reflection of If thoughts.
A great write no matter and the person depicted was a wonderful soul that walks the Earth.
Yours as always Ian ..
Conect11
6 years 10 months ago
thank you Ian
The events in the poem are complete fact and occurred about an hour before I wrote it.
raj
6 years 10 months ago
this is pretty good about
this is pretty good about reconciling with what is rather than what is no more..,,,,with a good title...
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