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Sep 16, 2018
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Lanterns
Lanterns shattered
scattered amid the dark
yet fertile fields
emitting fractured light
The fervent beating of broken images
trying to re light the flame
much like the frantic beat
of the hummingbirds wings
Overwhelming need
to follow the path
to fruition
not knowing where to begin
or finding resolve
Desire to goal
is a long road
without an end
perhaps never to be found
Fight one more battle
for the sake of the fight
then pretend all is right
Go into the darkness
unarmed
naked to reality
that there is no end
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
lovedly
6 years 9 months ago
this is like music
they all say
like my poem a song worthy
emul does say
try today
''Don't Cry Babe''
easy to trace
at my place
Shadowdancer3349
6 years 9 months ago
lovedly
thank you for your kind words
raj
6 years 9 months ago
Hello SD
Welcome to Neopoet community...for me this image created an image of a fragile person hoping and fighting to make life whole again....not sure if that was the intent of the protagonist...
looking forward to read more of your posts as too your critique on poems of fellow members which is important for a workshop site...do participate in the contests and workshops too...some are active as you may have found while navigating this site...
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Shadowdancer3349
6 years 9 months ago
raj
very lovely analogy of my poem I thank you for that
raj
6 years 9 months ago
Hi SD
good to know I read the essence of the poem right...
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Roscoe Lane
6 years 9 months ago
Like this,
Like this a lot, it skips along. A heartfelt welcome to Neopoet. Regards Roscoe...
Shadowdancer3349
6 years 9 months ago
roscoe
thank you
gregwa8
6 years 9 months ago
the opening image of
the opening image of shattered, scattered lanterns is an good choice considering the rest of the poem. it makes me think of the opposite of a laser. there is a lack of focus, a lack of resolve. again, I love the last line, "go into darkness unarmed, naked to reality that there is no end."
Shadowdancer3349
6 years 9 months ago
Greg
sorry for the delay am getting ready to move Thanks for the read and kind words