Lost & Found

I lost 'me' where the foliage had to stream,
in worn out memories, and cold dreams,
on the cliffs and the gulfs of time
where willows whine with no rhyme.
Then I found 'me' - bashing
through the ember
of September,
A phoneix grew_
I found
YOU

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Please google 'Etheree' to know more about the form

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

raj

6 years 10 months ago

Hi Rula

it's a nice way to remember how you found your better half in September and expressing it in poetic verse...so we now know that September holds an important day in your calendar...

i suggest that unless there is some syllable count requirement, you may remove one of the two "the" in each of the two lines

in the memories, and the bold dreams,
on the cliffs and the gulfs of time

the poem also has a nice soft feel which goes pretty well with the theme..
.......................................................................................................................................

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Thank you raj

For your thoughtful feedback. I think the poem needs a bit of tweeks here and there. I'll be back to it hopefully the coming days.
Appreciate your endless support.

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Hello raj

I did some changes following your feedback and some other towards the end.
Thank you.

raj

6 years 10 months ago

this revised version is

this revised version is crisper...
............................................

Shadowdancer3349

6 years 10 months ago

Rula

nice nonet which are not easy to write
as your title states what was lost was found

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

An Etheree in fact

Hello Shadow
Thank you. There is a very slight difference between the two forms.
Happy to know that you like it. Appreciate your nice words.
Thank you.
Always open for any constructive feedback or thoughts.

scribbler

6 years 10 months ago

WHAT?

Rule just wrote a mostly rhyming poem..........(trying to give me a heart attack I bet lol). I enjoyed this and good luck in contest

Rula

6 years 10 months ago

Hello Stan

three things if I may :)
First, my name is RulA not RulE
2nd, I rarely write free verse. Most of the time I DO rhyme.
3rd, this is not intended for the contest, unless someone would recommend it. I have already submitted one for the contest. It's not that I expect to win, but I appreciate if you tell me which better fits the bill.
Anyway, appreciate your kind visit.