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R
raj
Nov 14, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

From Her Scrapbook

Tiny hands found a place, for a leaf beside her feet,
there it stayed, pretty safe, where no one but she knew.

Those tiny hands grew large and large, but kept returning to the page,
it made her smile, to see it there, beaming at her face.

What was said in silent words, no one but they knew,
for being there is all that mattered, without being said.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

More from this author

Comments

Race_9togo

Race_9togo

6 years 8 months ago

Hey Raj,

It's been a while since I read any of your work.
I'm going to have to do some catching up, because this is a little jewel, my friend.
Like the title.
LOVE the theme!

The words:
in line 2, 'where no one but she knew'...maybe 'where no one knew but her"...perhaps?

consider 'returning' instead of 'coming back' in line 3. Would it flow better?

Man, this is good. So brief, so intimate, and so very vivid, a real tiny slice of a person's inner self.
Beautiful man, well done.

R

raj

6 years 8 months ago

Thanks Jim

for taking time to read and for your comments and suggestions. Good to know you liked this. Shall look into your suggestions...

thanks for stopping by..

PS: Made the changes suggested by you
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S

scribbler

6 years 8 months ago

Hi raj

Too few people realize the importance of just Being there...........stan

R

raj

6 years 8 months ago

Hi Stan

thanks for your visit and comment...you are right about importance of being there...reminds me of the poem you wrote soon after surgery in which you had said the first thing you looked for after regaining consciousness was to see Susan who was there...
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