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Nov 28, 2018
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I Walk as an Image
Re-REVISED VERSION COURTESY STAN LEADER and Mark of Neopoet
I Walk as an Image
on the surface of the ocean
as did the Lord once
but
I am just an imagery
of a candle light
burnt by the Sun
cooled by the Moon
all day and night
all glare at me walking
but none wants to speak
a ghost am I
or just an illusion
can anyone knowledgeable
tell me
I beseech
I continue strolling on the surf
just across the beach
within your reach
come some one rescue me
if you want to read
more poetry of Neo's
Lovedly
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
6 years 7 months ago
Hi Loved
I have become lazy now that I can copy and paste lol. So I'll just post your poem with a few changes and let you decide if you like them or not.
I Walk as an Image
at the surface of the ocean
as did the Lord once
but
I am a mere image
of candle light
burnt by the Sun
cooled by the Moon
all day into the night
all see me walking
but none speak with me
a ghost am I
perhaps just an illusion
can anyone knowledgeable
tell me
I beseech
I continue
strolling on the surf
just across the beach
within your reach
come someone rescue me
if you want to read
more of Loverme's
poetry
lovedly
6 years 7 months ago
thank you stan
after a long time you have come
o man
shall amend after some more read it
And of course all with you shall agree
So I will change it
thanks rgds
loverme
raj
6 years 7 months ago
Hi Lovedly
I was drawn by the title of the poem and liked the first stanza which is a poem by itself...
..................................................................
lovedly
6 years 7 months ago
Thanks Raj
so nice of you
kindness urs
lovedly
6 years 7 months ago
Thanks Mark and Stan
Is it any better now
or you'd like to replace
'' glare'' also
lovedly
6 years 7 months ago
just a word makes all the difference
just a word makes all the difference
but one ought to know which word
lol