Rula

Dec 06, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Catching The Mood of The Rain

I wonder what mood
has the rain!

Does it feel happy
To wash mother
nature's pain?
Does it feel sad
And fall as a sign
of complaint!

Or maybe it just goes
Mad because of
Man's insanity?

I wonder

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Eumolpus

6 years 7 months ago

Your poem

Good idea to so animate the rain! Last stanza is problematic for me;

Or maybe it just goes
Mad because of
humanity's insane?

the syntax...correct would be "humanity's insanity" but that doesn't sound good. Then there's the problem for mad vs insane...colloquially they are both the same.
There are so many ways to say what it is obvious what you are trying to say, I would play with it bit more, maybe by describing the madness, with images, it could be so illustrated and not so directly presented.

Rula

6 years 7 months ago

Mark

highly appreciate your feedback. Hope it reads better after the edit.

Eumolpus

6 years 7 months ago

Yes indeed

the basic syntax now fits better. A short poem, but power packed!

(Sorry about the multiple posts, not sure how that happened.)

Rula

6 years 7 months ago

Hello Mark

Thank you for taking the time Mark to comment and for the suggestion.
Much appreciated.

raj

6 years 7 months ago

Hi Rula

good poem to imagine nature's mood..
................................

Rula

6 years 7 months ago

Dear raj

My pleasure. I'm pleased to know you like it.
Thank you.

Rula

6 years 7 months ago

Mark

Appreciate the approval.

raj

6 years 7 months ago

Rula

being a poem based on imagination I feel "I wonder" is a good ending...it could also be

I wonder
while I wander
in the clouds..
..................................................

Rula

6 years 7 months ago

Raj

I see your imagination is even works better. That's a lovely ending indeed.
Thank you

Wind in the Keyhole

6 years 2 months ago

As a newcomer this is

As a newcomer this is probably a belated comment, but I love the theme of rain and mood, since they go together so well. My mood has seldom if ever not been affected by the rain, as well as by the wind. But enough about my mood! What is the mood of the rain?! Now I'll wonder and probably write poems about it! Thank you!

Dalton

1 year 1 month ago

Dear Rula

My father once told me the rain exists to purify the earth and her atmosphere as well as the obvious function of sustaining the soil and every creature that moves over the face of the earth and dwells in the sea. Your ideas are thought provoking and endearing regards John