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Was I a mollusk? Who will I become?
Brittle shells --
worn down to the holes
deserted homes,
their owners reborn as gulls.
Or maybe one of those
soft boneless bodies that are gone
was mine.
I can imagine being a mollusk
--sweet and salty glistening muscle.
I walk along the shore line,
look at the sun
through the green glass
broken a few years ago,
sharp corners
smoothened out by time.
My thoughts intertwine
with ribbons of seaweed
reflecting in the layer of the sky
left by the tide to dry and disapper,
to soak into the sand
and shadows beneath,
to crunch under my feet
like fresh snow.
I don't leave footprints
but I walk for walking,
not to leave a meaningful set
of precious allegories.
Whatever I was,
whoever I will be,
I am looking mostly forward
except maybe
for a quick glance
on the rising sun
through the onrushing green wave.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
6 years 6 months ago
Fabulous
opening and closing stanzas dear IRiz.
I would drop the 2nd and 3rd for another poem. Just my humble opinion
Wow!
Ps. did you want mollusk?
A new word for me too :-)
IRiz
6 years 6 months ago
It is one L in Russian and in
It is one L in Russian and in French, but it doesn't excuse me. Thank you for reading, dear Rula.
raj
6 years 6 months ago
Hi IRiz
this is too tough for me and beyond my capacity to understand...
................................
IRiz
6 years 6 months ago
Understanding of poetry comes
Understanding of poetry comes with more reading. I think you want to read more books.
raj
6 years 6 months ago
appreciate your suggestion
appreciate your suggestion but I don't think I now have the needed attention span to read..read and read..which I used to t one time though not poetry but novels and fiction...
......................................
IRiz
6 years 6 months ago
practice your attention span,
practice your attention span, it is use it or lose it deal
it will help with your writings as well
we are all slowly cooking in our own soups and getting soft in the heads
raj
6 years 6 months ago
Thanks IRiz ...
Thanks IRiz ...
.........................
Eumolpus
6 years 6 months ago
an interesting idea
I can imagine being reincarnated as a wildebeest or goose, but not a clam. why not?
I like the poem, not the title though.
IRiz
6 years 6 months ago
you are always kind, thank
you are always kind, thank you, Mark