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Aurora
We waited for an hour or two
that Sunday afternoon,
crossing the tracks
at the Aurora Metra station
because of the construction.
I didn't know.
I swear I didn't know
that entire week
would be the end of us.
It was hot that day;
we escaped by slipping inside
the concourse
with its sticky floors
and vending machines
and the water fountain the janitor
warned my son about.
Who knew at 10 that night
when the fireworks went off
above Navy Pier
their splendor, their noise
would be our swan song?
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Cloudthings
6 years 4 months ago
Hey Connect11, I'm newly back after 7 years
So we haven't "met", I was just looking through "undiscovered works" & found this very lovely work... bit heart breaking & terribly evocative in a realist way.
I found myself right there in my own version of the experience - wonderful in it's smooth flow, it's descriptors & it's articulate communication..
Hope to read more from you.