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themoonman
themoonman
Mar 16, 2019 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Soothing Projections

Imagining to understand
causes my head to throb,
so I write to alleviate,

it relaxes the air
and I become the rain
pounding the roof.

the beep beep of the clock
and no moments are hidden,

the cold distance between planets
and my marrow freezes over,

the tire pinches the pebble
and I'm the low hum of the road ...

but I'm home
nursing my head.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: an old one revisited recently

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

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Comments

themoonman

themoonman

6 years 3 months ago

Hi,

Thank you for the kind words,
I liked the low hum too, relaxing.

themoonman

themoonman

6 years 3 months ago

Wow ...

The old testament! goodness, thank
you.

Usually I write because I have to
write it down to remember it lol,
even when its drivel.

thank you for your visit

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

6 years 3 months ago

nice images moonman

Nice sounds and images. tells it as it is. I don't know why else we do this ridiculous thing.

(not sure about the title- you know, the projection sounds more like a cinema thing, and kinda leads me away from the poem not into it...)

great poem!

themoonman

themoonman

6 years 3 months ago

Hi,

Projector didn't cross my mind, but now
it does. I was going for "projecting" myself
in soothing (debatable) situations ... I'm
old school too, now I see the antique film
projector barely working in the middle of
the room lol ... not married to the title, I like
to add something or at least be theme based,
got any suggestions?

Geezer

Geezer

6 years 3 months ago

Bare bones...

and yet the ideas come through so clearly. Nice. ~ Gee.
.

themoonman

themoonman

6 years 3 months ago

Gee ...

Thank you sir, I'm old, all my bones
are bare.

Duke.Raoul

Duke.Raoul

6 years 2 months ago

Projecting onto a blank piece

Projecting onto a blank piece of paper, or a blank canvas... Or in my case, projectile vomiting into a notebook ;)

Nice work. Has a pleasant buzz and, um, hummmm.

themoonman

themoonman

6 years ago

Hi,

Thank you for reading and commenting,
glad you liked it

S

scribbler

6 years 2 months ago

Hi Richard

Not bad for a free verse...Just kidding lol.Second stanza. I'm not sure what you want to convey. If it's the perseverance of a pounding head then leave it as is. If it's a temporary reprieve then maybe change"pounding" to playing or some other more pleasant verb. Whichever I liked this........stan

themoonman

themoonman

6 years ago

Hi,

Hmm ... pounding; what I was trying to
get was like the rushing pounding on a
tin roof ... thanks, I'll need to address that.

ImageWeaver

ImageWeaver

6 years 1 month ago

Greetings

I enjoyed reading this piece, your lines held me in poetic grip with their impact.
'The distance between....
- very potent indeed!

themoonman

themoonman

6 years ago

Hi,

Glad you liked this short spin
of head and ache ...

Hannah Moonlark

Hannah Moonlark

5 years 4 months ago

Hi

I like this poem a lot.
I was just thinking that maybe you could say, "The sound of the clock beeping," instead of, "The beep beep of the clock." But I'm not sure. Maybe that's what you meant to do.

themoonman

themoonman

5 years 4 months ago

Hi,

Thank you for reading and offering
suggestions, a poem can usually be
improved ... thank you!!!