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Jun 05, 2019
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Green Gold
Like a seed
You are so darn tough
On the outside
I’d like to see
What happens
If you burst forth
From the soil
Of acceptance
And warmth
What unravels
From your beautiful insides
Become verdant
Like green gold
Your nature's
Perfect contribution
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
6 years 1 month ago
Excellent,
Excellent, Regards Roscoe...
gregwa8
6 years 1 month ago
thank you
thank you
lovedone
6 years 1 month ago
how I wish
all our grass while 'tis green
becomes gold
unless you meant yellow
ere it once again becomes cold
gregwa8
6 years 1 month ago
thanks lovedly
thanks lovedly
scribbler
6 years 1 month ago
Hi greg.
There I was just reading along enjoying this then came next to last line......i hate that typos bother me so much, maybe because I make so many lol. But anyhoo it should be : you're nature's. But I liked it since I took trouble to comment.....stan
gregwa8
6 years 1 month ago
good catch. fixed. thanks
good catch. fixed. thanks Stan.
Eumolpus
6 years 1 month ago
i like the poem
but in truth not sure I totally get it (I guess another another word is "understand".) There are many things it could be, not so much a person to me as exploding from the inside kinda removes anything in the animal kingdom, as our insides, our guts, are not to me so "beautiful" or green gold like. So I'm not sure what it is, but in this case not sure it matters, unless you intended for me the reader to grasp something specific...
..
gregwa8
6 years 1 month ago
I changed the word explode to
I changed the word explode to unravel. I think that makes more sense of the poem
Marthalyn
6 years 1 month ago
Nature's Self
I love this poem perhaps because I view people and all life the way I view nature's renewal of spring when it is birthing in the richest green, more valuable than gold.
Your poem was a pleasure to read. Thank you
gregwa8
6 years 1 month ago
Thank you!
Thank you!