Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jun 07, 2019
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
LEAD GENTLY INTO THE NIGHT
A poem for a Virgin
who was always afraid of a man
was married and
taken away to a far off land
she had none of her trusted ones at hand
thus I spoke
Lead kindly into the night
with hubby aright
be faithful all night and life
be a good wife
nothing and no one
but your husband is right
he will take care of you
only if you always lead him
KINDLY
into the night
till twilight
all your life
and I was right
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
6 years ago
Yes
Young girls should be and treat their loved ones with kindness, something too many of today's young people don't realize.....stan
Eumolpus
6 years ago
my first reaction is sorrow
for the young virgin apparently married off. Reminds me of a recent film I saw "the third wife" about a young Vietnamese virgin given to a rich master far away. (19th century) One of the wives tells her to treat the master correctly, lead him calmly into the night and one day she too will enjoy his advances...what other choice is there? But the film is a tragedy, as is every other situation of women treated as cattle. i see no redemption in your poem to the virgin girl...
The poem must begin different like "This is a poem about"...the stanza is not English.
The word hubby sounds way to pedestrian for the stance, similar to Dylan Thomas, Do not go gentle into that good night..." "Lead kindly into the night" The language is too elevated to introduce the all in the family vernacular.
My takes.
lovedone
6 years ago
Kindness Eumol
for your views well I have never read Dylan
lovedone
6 years ago
yes
i just read DYLAN'S
He is a distinguished poet
I still just a learner
Eumolpus
6 years ago
There are so many poets
like Dylan Thomas, as poets we must seek them out and enjoy their mastery. To be a poet is read poetry. I am so happy to have gotten your interest in him, and if you need a list of 15 or 20 "must read" poets from our times (modern, 20th century and up) it will be my pleasure.
There are few magicians of the image/word like Thomas. That richness of sound is his biggest asset and what sets him apart. His words are charged with lightening.
..
lovedone
6 years ago
kindly do
'twill be a blessing for me too
else I am only wasting my time
whiling away till comes my time
EUMOL
Sparrow 42
6 years ago
Loved Or Lovedone or even lovedly
I find this one a wee bit sexist and having no respect for the women of this world especially those who are forced or coerced into going abroad to find that they are there to marry someone they have never met . Yours as always Ian
lovedly
3 years 8 months ago
VIRGINAL POEM
A poem for a Virgin
who was always afraid of a man
was married and
taken away to a far off land
she had none of her trusted ones at hand
thus I spoke
Lead kindly into the night
with hubby aright
be faithful all night and life
be a good wife
nothing and no one
but your husband is right
he will take care of you
only if you always lead him
KINDLY
into the night
till twilight
all your life
and
I was right