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Sep 18, 2019
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Untitled
The world has grey veins.
chest pounds like a busy hammer.
rolling like a rickety vehicle
towards the grave to be no more.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: How well does the imageries communicate the idea? kindly give your suggestions.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Dee's pen
6 years 1 month ago
Thanks Sir.
Sir Mark,
Thanks very much for your observations. I will always appreciate your guide every time.