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Nov 02, 2019
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chaos
<p>In search for your love, I found the chaos which was you. You set my soul on fire so that when there was nothing left I burnt out. You left me with the darkest of our memories but brought to light my soul. The ashes of our love balanced me to outgrow the chaos which was your love. A.L.S</p>
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Sparrow 42
5 years 8 months ago
Amber
Welcome to Neopoet, and I hope you will write not only good poetry but great comments on the other poets pieces.
Here we can not only learn of how to write but how to read others works
Just a sort of your layout, which brings this in line with a good write.
There is room for more Stanzas/ Verses to this.
It does hold its own though. Take care and anything you need about poetry just ask,
Yours, Ian T, Sparrow, and sometimes Yenti, lol
Chaos
In search for your love,
I found the chaos which was you.
You set my soul on fire
So that when there was nothing left,
I burnt out.
You left me with the darkest of our memories
But brought to light my soul.
The ashes of our love balanced me
To outgrow the chaos which was your love.
Amber Louise Swanson
191102 - I use this number for recording writes 19 the year 11 the month and 02 the day.
I find that it helps when knowing when each piece was written.
Barbara Writes
5 years 8 months ago
nice poem
the raw truth is i like the title and the theme...written in stanzas will make it reader friendly...
c lynn brooks
5 years 8 months ago
Amberr
If I may suggest
instead of burnt use burned
soul is used twice perhaps you might use being(as in sul or body etc)
for your love see if you like using of instead in search of your love
instead of which was your lve perhaps again of wuld work well here
add more stanzas
the reformat into stanzas works well
goo
d start keep it gong
Geezer
5 years 8 months ago
Welcome...
to Neopoet! I like the theme and you got the idea across rather well. I agree that putting it in quatrain or verse form, would make it more reader friendly. It does lend itself to a longer piece, but good for a first post. Read some of the others here and look at styles. You have the chance to read and interact with some of the best poets around. If you find a work that you like, don't be afraid to tell them! When you have an opinion, don't be afraid to share it! A comment as to if you liked or didn't like something and why, can help another. ~ Geezer.
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