I

In a world full of sorrow,

I will be the light

In a place full of wrongs

I will make it right

When everyone is blind

I’ll keep my precious sight

And hold on ‘till tomorrow

Through troubled day to calming night

Something tells me that this ship

Will not win its final fight

But we pray to distant gods

That everything will be alright

It’s a sad and sunken vessel

Rid of strength and lacking might

But forever facing forward

I will not give up the fight!

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Favorite Poets: Charles Bukowski, Emily Dickinson, Lord Byron, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Tennyson, Walt Whitman

5 years 7 months ago

one suggestion
last line instead of won't the use of
I will not give up the fight might work better here

5 years 7 months ago

Got it, thanks!

5 years 6 months ago

as good as most of your other stuff! ~ Geezer.
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