Edna Sweetlove

Jan 09, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Life On The Ocean Wave (original version reinstated)

A life on the ocean wave, ho!
In the olden days of sail
When England's ships were proud and brave
And their crews were very male.

The Captain stood upon his bridge
Looking smart and flash;
But below the decks, the orders were
Rum and bum and the lash.

The bosun went to the main gunroom,
Dick Deadeye at the ready;
Initiation time had come
For little midshipman Freddy.

"Strap him o'er that cannon, lads!"
Roared the hirsute fellow,
"Gag his mouth securely, lads,
In case he tries to bellow!"

The sailors did as he had bid -
Refused and they'd be punished -
And they knew their turn would come
After the bosun had finished.

The bosun went up the poor young lad
And soon was going strong;
Midshipman Fred looked rather pained -
The Bosun was THICK and LONG.

Then came the turn of the other men
And they set to with a will;
Little Fred could not say no
Until they'd had their fill.

What a life our sailors had then,
Always singing shanties;
When men were men and big and butch
And cabin boys wore silk panties.

A life on the ocean wave, ho!
With the rolling sea and the spray.
Sinking the Frogs and murdering Wogs
Kept England's sailors so gay.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: London, Culture Capital of the World

Favorite Poets: Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke, Chaucer, Shakespeare to name but a few. And VERY IMPORTANTLY: Erich Fried, a leftwing Austrian of Jewish ancestry who fled the Nazis and became a British citizen in 1949., And, other writers (non-poets mainly): Raymond Chandler, Irvine Welsh, Anthony Burgess, Graham Greene, Charles Bukowski, John le Carré, Anthony Horowitz, Mick Herron, Margaret Attwood, Edna O'Brian, Maeve Binchy., Writers who I find vastly over-rated: TS Eliot, Virgina Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Phil Larkin, E.A. Poe, A. Ginsburg, Longfellow, Gerald Manley Hopkins (actually I LOATHE Hopkins more than damson-dappled words can say).

Comments

weirdelf

5 years 9 months ago

The cabin boy's name was Flipper,

a nasty little nipper,
shoved broken glass
up his arse
and circumcised the skipper.

Were the caps really necessary in "THICK and LONG"?

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 9 months ago

I forgot...

... to mention that this poem is dedicated to the memory of Admiral Albert "Pansy" Potter who displayed amazing bravery by wearing full drag through several major sea battles. He was cashiered for insisting the Admiralty rename his ship HMS Gayboy instead of HMS Fearless. Or it may have been because he flew the rainbow flag on a state visit to Sydney.

And I have to confess to having been in two minds about the capitals for THICK and LONG. If italics were available at NP I would have preferred italics. Maybe amend to "THICK (and long)"???

weirdelf

5 years 9 months ago

thick and long

thick and long, thick and long, thick and long.

Yeah, I thought so. The Addvanced formatting feature is far from inuitive but it sometimes works if you copy and paste from Word or other wordprocessors or just select the text and hold Ctrl I for italics and Ctrl B for bold.

Obadiah Grey

5 years 9 months ago

Arf Arf,,,

"Sinking the Frogs and murdering Wogs
Made England's sailors gay.",,,,,,,,,,, Oh 'kin 'ell, that was worth getting up for!

Obi.

weirdelf

5 years 9 months ago

ok, Edna. First choose 'Advanced Formatting'

See bottom left of this box 'Simple Text' then a drop-down box that says 'Simple Formatting'. Click and choose 'Advanced formatting'. Now open a file in whatever wordprocessor you use. Something with paragraph breaks, line breaks, italics and bold. Copy and paste it in here. Everything preserved? Should be. Not tabs though, they are programmed in the original application.

See I haven't played with with Advanced formatting much because I'm a bit of a purist, plain old text should, by and large, say it all.

when I press tab that happens

that twice.

If I type and press Enter

It makes a paragraph break.

If I type and hold Shift then press Enter
I get a line break like that instead. If I type bold, select the word, hold the Ctrl key and press b I get Bold . Same with italics, Ctrl i I get italics.

With me so far? If I say something naughty and want to get sprung I can use the button on the ribbon above, like some silly cunts so-and-so's do. Bugger, strikethough doesn't work. b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶

That's about it.

weirdelf

5 years 9 months ago

b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶

bugger b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶

oo, it works in plain text from b⃫u⃫g⃫g⃫e⃫r⃫ b̶u̶g̶g̶e̶r̶ b⃜u⃜g⃜g⃜e⃜r⃜
https://manytools.org/facebook-twitter/strikethrough-text/

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 9 months ago

Thanks!

Seems complicated but I'll try it.

Gracy

5 years 5 months ago

Where is your poem? I see

Where is your poem? I see nothing, something about being censored?! No way.

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 5 months ago

I was ordered...

...to remove this on the grounds that it might be offensive to gay people. No one gay complained to me personally and I am possibly the least anti-gay person on this planet. Hey. ho.

scribbler

5 years 4 months ago