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Jan 10, 2020
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The Phantom Menace...
Twitter, twitter little birdie
Fly so high while you still can
Before they take away your toys
Make you grow up, act the man
Spin it, lie and tell half-truths
Make each story all about you
Poor me, you see, "I didn't know"
No matter what, it's what you do
Daddy's boy can't take rejection
He wants them all to love him so
Despots, tyrants and ruling kings
He'll kiss their ass, make a show
Oh, Lord help us, if he wins again
He'll be hell on wheels, like dear Dennis
Darth Vader look out, he'll take your job
He will be the Phantom Menace
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Hannah Moonlark
5 years 6 months ago
I think this poem is amazing,
I think this poem is amazing, except for the second paragraph. I think you should delete it.
Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
Afer careful consideration...
and reading another comment, I agree, that verse is not needed. Thank you. ~Geezer.
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Geezer
5 years 6 months ago
Thank you Sir...
When I get two critiques/comments to the same effect, I take heed. I re-read and read and decided that I really didn't need that second verse, Thank you again. ~ Geezer.
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