LittleGift

Feb 13, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Miss You

Sorrow engulfs and smothers the heart.
Which longs to have you near
Weighing down my very soul
Excreting every single tear

Bitter thoughts blaze in my mind.
As I lay our love to rest
In fields of pink carnations
Dead leaves falling where I tread

About This Poem

Last Few Words: A little one I wrote about missing him. Pink Carnations are a symbol of never to be forgotten and dead leaves symbol sadness. Thought maybe explaining my use for these would help with the imagery and the message being conveyed Many thanks for reading LG :)

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Cambs, UK

Favorite Poets: I guess my most favourite is the poet that encouraged me to write. Mr Poe himself. He was a poet stricken with grief and someone I could relate to. I use to read him to death. Since then I have read others such as Emily Dickinson and Shelley, to name a couple. But I also get a lot of joy from reading others who write within communities. Poets tend to take us on a journey, I find it insightful when I read others works

Comments

LittleGift

5 years 4 months ago

Thank you

Hello Alan,
Many thanks for the helpful input. I will put myself to work tomorrow as it's a bit late now. Much appreciate all your sound advice. I am here to learn :)

Kindest regards
LG

LittleGift

5 years 4 months ago

Hello

I think I did it all. Thank you for helping me with this

Kindest regards
LG :)

LittleGift

5 years 4 months ago

Thanks

Thanks for the title advice, I will switch it so it's not so personal. It is not an affair, being widowed has probably been the hardest challenge for me. Sadly it does reflect in my writing. I will be sure not to share any more of this subject

Kind regards
LG

LittleGift

5 years 4 months ago

Thank you

Thank you Jerry, it was a human error. No harm done. People don't expect someone like me to already be widowed. He was only 30 years old. In the UK carnations, particularly pink are used at funerals. People wear them in their buttonholes. I assumed everyone would recognise that bit. My human error.

Thank you for kindness
LG

Geezer

5 years 4 months ago

Don't you dare...

stop being human! I was aware of you being a widow and saw right away that it was about you missing your spouse. Jerry was just trying to be helpful and suggest that you get over someone who has hurt you. You share all you want and need to with us, we are and will be respectful. Nice work, by the way!
~ Geezer.
.

LittleGift

5 years 4 months ago

Thank you

Thank you for your kind words and support. Sorry I missed the chat last night. Too late for me in the UK.

Thanks for reading my poem

Kind Regards

Geezer

5 years 4 months ago

We are working...

on getting something going for our European members. We know that the time difference is a hardship on some of you. hang in there! ~ Geezer.
,.