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Dream On...
Hairy Brute, eyes of yellow
Shining in the night
Standing silent, in the meadow
Giving me a fright
It stalks my camp, makes low growls
Sits in the piney wood
It scares the wolves, stops their howls
I know it means no good
What it intends, I don't really know
I hope it goes away
The night is passing, oh so slow
I can't wait for break of day
I'm in my tent and fitful sleep
Dreaming now, of my girlfriend's pair
I'm so warm, feel the wool of sheep
Wait a minute, I think that's hair!
I hold my breath, think a minute
I don't believe it's true
She's here with me, my bag, she's in it!
I call her name, that you?
A big, soft sigh, warm breath in my ear
A caress down you know where
I think I've had too much beer
But I don't really care
I'm glad you're here, is what I think
But your hair is wild and your hands are tough
I've noticed that you have a stink
Your tongue in my ear is kinda rough
My brain begins to make a scene
Things ain't right, you see
I'm thinking of, what that might mean
I'm so scared that I might pee!
Strong arms enfold me, hold me tight
Stronger than a man
Oh well, relax, enjoy the night
I'll run later, if I can...
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I know I said earlier, that I was done with changing things. But after reading it again, with the changes I made, I've decided to go back to some of the things I used before and change a couple of others. Now, it's done!
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Geezer
5 years 4 months ago
Made a couple...
of adjustments, what do you think?
~ Geezer.
.
Geezer
5 years 4 months ago
Nope...
I think I've made all the adjustments I'm going to. I'm satisfied with the meter now, the way it is. Thanks anyway.
~ Geezer.
.
Geezer
5 years 4 months ago
I've made...
all the adjustments, I'm going to make on this one. I'm satisfied with the meter now. Thanks anyway.
~ Geezer.
.
Miserably Happy
5 years 4 months ago
Dreams
Had to and wanted to read again and again. Fear of the unknown? How much do you want? Acceptance, ahhh!
Good open ended journey.
Miserably Happy
Geezer
5 years 4 months ago
I had a dream...
Not like, Mr. King, but one after seeing a story about a man that was saved by a female Bigfoot and lived in a cave with her through the winter. I got to wondering...
~ Geezer.
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scribbler
5 years 4 months ago
Hey Geeze
Try replacing "there" with stealthy in line 3. The rest well depict the fear of things that go bump in the night