A Life On The Ocean Wave (Extra Gay Version)

A life on the ocean wave, ho!
In the olden days of sail
When pirate ships were proud and brave
And their crews were very male.

Captain Cock stood upon his bridge
Looking smart and flash;
And below the decks, the orders were
Rum and bum and the lash.

First Mate Mick went to the poop deck,
He was really ready;
Initiation time had come
For trainee pirate Freddy.

"Thtwap him o'er that cannon, ladth!"
Roared the hirsute lisper,
"Gag hith mouth thecurely, ladth,
Thilenth hith evewy whithper."

The pirates did as he had bid -
Refuse and they'd be punished -
And they knew their turn would come
Once First Mate Mick had finished.

The lisping brute approached the cute young lad
And soon was having it away;
Dear little Fred called out in joy -
As he was really very gay.

Then came the turn of the other men
And they joined in with a will;
Little Freddy loved it all so much
He could never have his fill.

What a life our pirates had,
Always singing shanties;
When men were men and big and butch
And the skipper wore silk panties.

The pirates' frigates ruled the waves -
Straight sailors feared them coming;
If captured, they'd be condemned
To a life of seaborne bumming.