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Edward nigma
Edward nigma
Sep 02, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

We dance in the night

I gracefully glide with you
a gift of gorgeosity given to me by god.

Along the misty blue tide as it reveals the moon
that illuminates the sky with its illustrious light.

Which is filled with the wondrous bright color of white.
That calmly cradles the Cold drowsy dark night .

And then we hear a clarinet crooning us towards the soft
yet strong sounding symphony
That Is held within the Marvelous morning colors

The radiant Rambunctious red comes up wearing its bright yellow crown
Around its noble head.

Welcoming the dead towards the luscious land of complete
perfection known as heaven.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde , William Wordsworth

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

C

c lynn brooks

4 years 10 months ago

Edward

PLeaseusestnzas it makesm it far easier to read
you may get moe eads that way as well

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 10 months ago

I'm thinking...

Hey Edward, a nice bit of poetry here, but
you should watch that you don't have too many
descriptive words in the sentence. More is not always better.

1] Such as: wonderous, bright color of white. [Actually, white
is not a color]. You might say: A wonderous, bright white;
and be fine with that.

2] soft, strong these are two opposites that are very hard to
relate to each other. Like saying: a bright, but dim light.

3] Bright and radiant are much the same thing. Too much.

4] Again, too much of a good thing in: bright, young, yellow halo crown.
and nice, noble, heavenly head.

5] you need an [L] in complete.

As I said, a nice bit of poetry, but too many descriptive words.
~ Geezer.
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Edward nigma

Edward nigma

4 years 10 months ago

I’ll fix it thank you

But can’t something be soft but yet strong at the same time
And white is a color because it wouldn’t exist on a crayon and it is not nothing because that means it is nonexistent which it isn’t because why would we have something that was that has a name and say it is nothing non existent if it has a name it is clearly existing.

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 10 months ago

Yes...

something can be soft yet strong, but not the way in which you pronounced it. It needs a quantifier. [yet, but,or] My mistake in saying that white is the absence of color. It is the reflection of all the colors. Sorry about that. ~ Geezer.
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