Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
H-Town Ballad
Come and sit in the scorching sear
Put on a hat and pull out a beer
Hollar out a howdy and a y'all or two
Then smack at the squitos and tell them to shoo
Pull out a tent and let's go camping
Don't grab a trailer unless your glamping
Climb a tree or wade in a brook
Then go grab those dogs you've been waiting to cook
April, May, June, July
Hurricane season won't fly by
It will sit and sit and relieve itself
'Knock all the stuff off of your shelf
Then comes winter and no, no, no
Before you say it, it just won't snow
Big red Santa in a cowboy hat
Before you ask it he's the same less fat
Look around at this beautiful place
'Then wipe the salty sweat off your face
'Scratch your bites, tug your hat round your ears.'
This is my home and I love living here
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Viviana Smith
4 years 9 months ago
houston
I love Houston ya'll!
Viviana Smith
4 years 9 months ago
sorry
just seeing this
no dogs was short for hot dogs
and squitos is short for mosquitoes
Geezer
4 years 9 months ago
I really enjoyed...
this one! i know what you mean by [dogs]. Ya'll mean Hot dogs or frankfurters. One of my favorite foods anytime of the year.
I like the two line rhyme and and all, but you don't have a title! This needs a title. ~ Geezer.
.
Viviana Smith
4 years 9 months ago
thanks
thanks any ideas for a title?
Geezer
4 years 9 months ago
I like your choice...
of title. Makes it sound rather hip and cool. H-Town. Very nice and good luck. ~ Geezer.
.
Viviana Smith
4 years 9 months ago
thanks
Thanks for the critique I didn't see that at first.
Viviana Smith
4 years 9 months ago
cool
ok thanks this is making it a lot better.
Viviana Smith
4 years 9 months ago
Its ok
This is changing my poem for the better. That's the whole point of it. I am getting critiqued. When you tell someone they need to change their work don't ever think you are a nuisance for doing it. The best people get built up from criticism and become something great. You're not the only one who has Critiqued me and I like the changes you're making to my poem.
(You are right Critique is a complement, It shows that others care so much about your work they want to help you make it better)
Breakinglogic
4 years 9 months ago
Viviana,
Viviana,
What a fun poem! Your first line is very smooth and engaging! Loved the jargon and the unexpected run in with the word glamping:)
Ray Whitaker
4 years 8 months ago
Congrats on winning the contest,
Nice job!