Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Nov 12, 2020
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
My heart
you were my dējàvu
I was your gladiolus
on a pashmina my dreams were wooven
wishing we could have a pas de deux
rapidly I feel my pleura plunge
then I retreat to plodding
and I surmise
it must be my malevolence in encumbrance
am I displaying bigotry
or stoicism
confusion as the order of the day
I cut my coat giving my heart a second coat
whatever the case may be
I conced
my heart is now chargē dàf-faires
now am back to the drawing board
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Dandini
4 years 7 months ago
It seems to me that you are
It seems to me that you are using what you feel are "odd" and "little known" words withy which you are not very familiar. But I could be mistaken.
"chargē dàf-faires" I fear is totally wrong. It's "charge d'affaires".
I hope you are not offended by my comments.
funmzy Artz
3 years 3 months ago
Thanks
Thanks for the awareness