Michael Anthony

Dec 04, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Old '64

You still didn’t have your license
- at eighteen! - I thought it was kind of funny
since I was driving at fifteen or so

We practiced in my five-hundred-dollar car
with your slightly bruised ego for company
The radio playing music we liked
keeping demons barely at bay

But all I could really think about
was your peculiar smile competing with the sun
wrapped in a flower print dress
trimmed in white lace

I talked about old books, and why I liked them
to keep you from being nervous about your driving
You liked old books too,
but admitted you’d probably never read them;
although their weight and texture
still made you feel connected
to all the experiences you imagined within

No matter your troubles with driving back then,
you still seemed to find a kind of peace,
a calm even, that somehow found you there
behind the wheel of my old ’64

I'm grateful for these simple memories
and all the things you taught me;
about grace gently hidden below the surface
underneath the beautifully broken

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

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Comments

Michael Anthony

4 years 7 months ago

Thanks for your feedback, and

Thanks for your feedback, and the welcome to Neopoet Teddy! Glad you enjoyed this. Looking forward to seeing work from the poets on this site - cheers!

Geezer

4 years 7 months ago

Hello and welcome...

to Neo. I found myself remembering when I taught my second wife to drive! She was just eighteen! She was fresh and beautiful and I was older by seven years. I followed your words and remembered my nonchalantness as I gazed upon her
trying to master the task. I too am an old book aficianado and have read many, many old heavy tomes. You connected rather well with this reader. Your title drew me in, the content flowed well from beginning to end. Very nice. ~ Geezer.
.

Michael Anthony

4 years 7 months ago

Appreciate you sharing your

Appreciate you sharing your thoughts about my poem Geezer! I left out the part where she hit the brakes too hard and I ended up with a cut on my forehead from hitting the dash. I didn't care though; I was in love...

c lynn brooks

4 years 7 months ago

michael

"your smile competing with the sun"
excellent l;ine perfect

Michael Anthony

4 years 7 months ago

Thanks for taking the time to

Thanks for taking the time to comment CLB! I'll give the chat room a try soon.

lovedly

4 years 7 months ago

Mesmerising teaching

i tried to teach my wife
landed in the drain

the recovery man wanted
more than the insurance claim
I left my car i
n the drain
for my broken third leg
made a MASSIVE
medical claim
all my life played
maim

Ray Whitaker

4 years 7 months ago

“Underneath the beautifully broken”

This is the line, the turn, in the poem... i am left wondering about “the broken.” That line caught me, and captured my attention.

Would you care to tell us what you meant there?

Thanks for this piece.

Michael Anthony

4 years 7 months ago

Thanks for taking the time

Thanks for taking the time Ray. With the "beautifully broken" line, and other parts of the poem, I was trying to capture the turmoil many experience when very young, and transitioning into adulthood; often a very difficult time in people's lives. Hopefully, the poem's logic conveys this, but maybe I've some thinking to do in regard to this. Cheers!

Ray Whitaker

4 years 7 months ago

Yup

There are very few pieces i’ve written that i am 100% satisfied with. ‘Course it all comeS out perfectly at the time of writing... LOL.

scribbler

4 years 7 months ago

Welcome to the asylum

I helped teach my future wife to drive by letting her drive the hay truck lol. I enjoyed your poem but think you might give a broader hint as to whether the girl became your wife