PLEASANT EVENING

Driving with the radio on
POOF ! then silence, speaker's gone
got pissed off and hit the dash
knocked something loose, now heater's trash

Pull in the driveway, hit the brakes
straight to the floor for goodness sakes
hit parking brake quick as I can
too late to save the full trash can

on the way to the side porch
( can't think of a good rhyme for porch )
trip on the step and mercy me
sprained my already bad knee

Limp to the 'fridge for a cold drink
all the ice trays in the sink
guess my tea will be sans ice
just another blasted vice

Navigate to my reclining chair
to flop in without a care
it reclines completely unexpected
curses toward it are directed

At last get settled on fat ass
in my hand a sweating glass
grab the remote and give a click
what the f!#*k and suck my d^@!

There's no picture on T.V.
so I call the cable company
" Sorry sir, just pay your bill
and then turn it on we will."

Little Yoda sounding prick
I pay with card, "then bird I flick"
at the telephone in hand
picture's back and all is grand

Susan's visiting her sis
gave me a cold parting kiss
so how about a bite to eat ?
guess frozen pizza will be a treat

Toss it in the oven, close the door
turn around and hit the floor
!@#$%^&*~ knee
not the first time it's dropped me

Back in the chair in front of telly
hands propped on my ample belly
on the screen the usual poop
lids grow heavy, start to droop..........

W.T.F!! the smoke alarm !
awakens me like a pinched arm
run into the smokey kitchen
pizza's burnt now ain't that bitchin'

Open the widows and the door
turn on the fan, can do no more
cold baloney sandwich for my feast
i manage to not burn It at least

Oh yeah, and by the way
how was your evening today ?