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Feb 04, 2021
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3:45 A.M...
I've failed to see that it's time
Failed to hear sleep's call
I'm still speaking in written rhyme
Can't hear, that that is all
All those folks that are sane
Fast asleep in their beds
Not running around so frantic
With full and bursting heads
No sense of where and none of what
Can't make my mind slow down
It's gone on auto-pilot
Too many thoughts are crowding 'round
Smother me, keep me chained
To a desk of thought
I'm in need of some clarity
Tonight it can't be bought
Racing through the night in flames
Burn the candle at both ends
My body is exhausted now
My brain and it aren't friends
I guess that I'll keep going
Brain can't hear the body's shout
Just keep on rhyming 'till the end
Until I just pass out
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I had one of those nights, last night when I just couldn't shut down. Finally after listening to some Brahms, I think the message got through.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Geezer
4 years 5 months ago
Ha, ha, ha ...
We shall see about Cows #2. Maybe some time in the near future. Thank you for your undying
enthusiasm for one of my favorites! ~ Geez.
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Lavender
4 years 5 months ago
3:45...
Pretty crazy, Geezer, but I had one of those nights last night, too! You have described the frustration well, and the temporary insanity that is felt at the time. "...keep me chained to a desk of thought." Yes, please! Great title, wonderful rhyme - relatable and appealing. That final line is perfect - fini! (I finally listened to an audiobook.)
Thank you, and better luck tonight!
L
Geezer
4 years 5 months ago
Thank you for...
your wishes on a good night's sleep! [For me, that is at least an hour and a half, three or four times a night]. Thank you soooo much for your read and comments, it means a lot to have such faithful readers. You ain't so bad yourself, you know? ~ Geez.
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VanRyan
4 years 5 months ago
Geezer, Sir;
Here is the truth; sleep will not come to one who has a guilty conscience. Ease it by telling your wife about those forbidden images you had on your mind. Only kidding sir; switch over to Mozart--unless you like Brahms' blasting horn motives that will jar you out of your on-setting slumber? Maybe,Mozart's Eine kleine Nachtmusik will lull you back to sleep. Or, as long as you are awake, write another nice poem like the one I just commented on Nice write--I mean your poem--not my drivel. Jerry/van.
lovedly
4 years 5 months ago
at 3am
when alone
you can set your tone
I have been given a cell
with ear phones
being deaf I now can hear
all say switch off
we can hear
now its 5 am sir
go to bed
your wife will serve u hot tea and twill be six thirty
no sleep
you have to clean the back yard today
my snow out to go there is no way
dogs howl
all day
Geezer
4 years 5 months ago
Yeah...
wish I could shovel snow. I have a hard time just getting my boots on and going outside. No real tea left, just decaf. Decaf coffee and decaf tea and no chocolate, chocolate for me. I do cheat on occasion and have a cup of real tea. And I get up early and sit smelling my wife's real coffee brewing and wishing. Thanks for the read and glad that you can hear your phone again. ~ Geez.
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