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Apr 07, 2021
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Canadian Proud
The maple leaf it do fly,
Waving happily,
On a pole so high.
As the red and white flies,
I reflect,
Of what this country,
Do the best.
In unison we do sing,
Our national anthem,
Like song birds,
In the spring.
We are like the beaver,
So noble and grand,
Building a country,
While saving the land.
The noble moose,
So sturdy and strong,
Protecting the forest,
With a watchful eye on all.
We have the heart of a dove,
And a soul of a bear,
Believing in peace first,
Conflict at the end of the line.
Although we may have our troubles,
May sometimes fight,
But get us in a corner,
We will cause a kerfuffle and unite.
We are proud to be Canadians,
Eager beavers we are true,
Just ask the hawk, the eagle,
And the caribou.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: [This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Geezer
4 years 2 months ago
I like your theme...
and your patriotism, but I think that your lines could be tuned up a little to give it a bit more rhythm. I know that you are not uneducated, but you sound as though you are, with lines that say "The maple leaf it [do] fly. Com'on, let's give this work the
dignity that it deserves! Do the best? Really? If you don't want to rhyme, I understand, but you should at least give it a little rhythm. Count the beats and make it smoother. You have the makings of a great poem here, I hope that you will make use of them.~ Geezer.
.
lovedly
4 years 2 months ago
GEE has spoken friendly CDN
Eager beavers we are true,
Just ask the hawk, the eagle,
And the caribou.
Nice words these